The awkward teen years like many other things in life began building the foundation. Emotions mixed, confused, and answers difficult for most of our parents were not versed in helping with the understanding they themselves conflicted with the religion and the pull of personal desire.
Remembering back to the days when getting ready to go to a dance a social event that happened frequently in those days. Having a new pair of light coloured blue denim jeans in my opinion not that tight but after inspection from mom told to go back to my room and put on my jock before leaving the house. Did mothers know best was she just trying to protect her son?
Dancing the ritual of rhythm, of impressing the opposite sex, feeling the beat of the music, like a hypnotic journey into freedom of expression. Was this the beginning of losing oneself of exhibitionisms of self expression of voyeurisms of watching others perform sensual movements.
Foreplay the asking of one to dance fast and hoping that when the beat slowed down that they would stay and you would inhale perfume, feel a rise in temperature through the fabric, lucky enough to hear an intake of breathe, stealing a glance and seeing the eyes shut in thought, was that thought fear or sexual stimulus being stored for later moments.
As a young male these were not moments that were deemed important, not the memory of scoring a goal, touchdown, or joining wires together to make a circuit, or design a building or electronic circuit, just girl things, how wrong we were not to pay more attention to the emotional connection.
Possibly from these early moments of interaction if we paid closer attention we could understand today the dynamic of power exchange, the emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs that a woman puppeteer uses to string out the delight of sensual pleasure, to control the release of male testosterone or male failed ejaculation.