When males hit their thirties many decisions begin to take hold, some of them not as pleasant, giving up the childish way of selfish gratification, turning the page into a constant adult behaviour.
In this decade during marriage moments that were not so shinny did the boys mind wander into the mans territory of being led, being tempted, or outright if lucky enough having the relationship with a goddess whom knew her power over everything that mattered.
It was this period of time that with the internet in its infancy as far as the large mainframe search engines like Alta Vista, Yahoo and Compu Serve. Alta Vista was being used for mainly work related issues and as the 1990’s exploded from dummy terminals into stand alone desktop and two operating systems MSDOS and Apples closed operating system.
Yahoo was a social phenom it offered chat rooms for every description, in my humble opinion this is were main stream met fringe thinking. Female supremacy women no longer threatened by male rejection. Women who could chat a power exchange took to the airwaves and spread their nets to catch and educate males as to where their place was.
Though for many males this was sexually liberating, they also could hide behind their online persona and to hear a women enact what was direction, what was control, the pretense could be a two way street. As connections were made often times the domina would confess that in fact she missed how a chivalrous man doing what felt right still excited her more than her ability to be director, actor, participant, and supreme leader.
These yahoo rooms were my introduction in the BDSM world that existed, far from my little rural upbringing. Meeting my first Mistress here going by the name Tease. Lucky for me or unlucky this woman was dynamite, exchanging emails, to calling long distance on the phone, to sending me out to adult stores to purchase toys to use on myself, all the time stirring the fantasy along making me long to hope my wife would take the hints of what I was beginning to long for sexually.
Emotionally I may not have been grown up enough to handle the balance between reality and fantasy. In those days bouncing around the rooms one day having a conversation with a Mistress the next day with a submissive (day is just a figure of time), and getting that emotional connection with one only to find out you were just a single bead in her long necklace of beads. Broken hearted that glimmer of sexual servitude had awakened or deposited a spark that laid dormant. If stronger may have known or understood the true difference between dominance and submission.
Today the discovery phase of this open society is not quite as easy to find, yes there is fetlife, and probably other sites unknown to me, in the past few days which will come on later blogs a pen pal site called slowly is a possible place where someone whom is a writer may get a chance to grow and understand this female dominant society, or just find someone to write back and forth with.