Understanding Expectations

Like the image of the flower the outside of the male mind is virginal, having lived his whole adult life in the vanilla world. The core is yellow a colour that symbolizes many things, fear of his unknown, elation of his growth, center of rebirth, or the honey nectar he believes may be his new experience.

Recently having been swept up into a wonderful pen pal exchange with another erotic writer, many emotions surfaced as the words were found to exchange story ideas. I was bold enough to reach out and the wonder was that this writer expressed her need for a dominant structure, my idea of a submissive was not as fulfilling as my deeper thoughts had hoped, but from a writing stand point learned that what is created should not be destroyed.

During these exchanges the idea of two different story lines emerged, that of a traveling teacher visiting a foreign land, and would I be willing to write from a dominant stand. The dominant stand seemed to take over the exchanges, and was very satisfying until a medical incident of mine caused a pause in the daily exchanges. Going from a contact daily, the initiation or the reception, a moment in the day to look forward to enlightened the wonderment of power exchange, it internally built the foundation of what a Dominatrix truly felt but this was from the male dominant point of view.

With a break of just over a week the magic was broken, so again the fantasy was crushed, and back to the drawing board for the senior searching, he no, longer had feelings to explain. Doing the correct thing was always his persona so in conversation put the exchanges on hold with the explanation to the other writer, an emptiness felt on his part, no idea on what the other writer thought, for in word exchanges difficult to sometimes imagine or truly capture the whimsical ways of the party exchange.

Last evening my eyes were again opened up and can only hope that the interview showing on you tube, the professional dominatrix, believe her name was a Mistress Iris, probably from California, well n the interview expressed so many of the thoughts I have had about what a submissive, dominant, relationship should be. Fantasy becoming reality, pleasure expression from within, kink of both parties exploring, and the end result a power exchange. This podcast called something unholy was filmed with clarity, and at one point the dominatrix looked at the interviewer, the focal point caught from the side, but the implied response brought an intimate smile from the depths of the dominatrix as if another person had shown a glimmer of submissive intent.

Have been in communication with two dominant woman, and an erotic hypnotist, all on twitter, one of the dominant women has slowly opened up a dialogue but unfortunately my stubbornness has not explored it fully, like the yellow inner of the flower, fear or possibly moral compass, for though logically understanding that time is money, that effort should be rewarded, still have my mental challenge of having to pay to chat, having to pay to talk, yes, pandemic is making us follow government stay at home orders, but again the adage of experiencing the true power exchange, at what cost to see if it is the fantasy or the missing blossom of life.

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